Wal-Mart
by Rhiannon7
Summary: Clark/Lex, Established Relationship, They go to Wal-Mart. What can I say fun, fluffy, silly fic.


Wal-Mart

By

Rachel/Rhiannon

April 2002

Disclaimer: Nothing Smallville related belongs to me, sadly. Nor do I profit in anyway from my obsession with Lex, Clark and Clex. 

Spoilers: Several for Zero

Ratings Note: Very PG

Summary: They go to Wal-Mart. What can I say, light, silly, fluffy fic. Can you say, "too cute" ?

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Serafina for beta and thanks to my hubby for saying all the right things at the Wal-Mart this past weekend. 

Feedback: stephenhero@msn.com

Lex Luthor pulled up outside the Kent's farmhouse. It was Monday. He wasn't technically supposed to be there. 

The Kents had agreed that he and Clark could visit with each other on the weekend and on Wednesday evenings, if Clark didn't have too much homework. This was their way of trying to put the brakes on a love affair that had been careening terribly out of control. They knew there was no way to stop Clark from seeing Lex altogether and so, despite Jonathan's better judgement, they had come up with this arrangement. 

Lex wasn't supposed to be here, but he had been restless and lonely and had lived through a dreadful phone call with his father. He decided that dropping in at the Kents to see if they would let him stay for dinner wasn't too much to expect from his boyfriend's family, was it? 

As he extricated himself from his Porsche, Martha Kent came out onto the front porch with a watering can. She looked up in surprise at Lex walking towards the house. "Lex! What brings you out here on a Monday?" she asked pleasantly, but Lex could make out the underlying caution.

"Bad day, Mrs, Kent. I had a very bad day and thought, if it wasn't too much trouble, that maybe I could have dinner over here tonight…" Lex trailed off watching her test each potted plant with her pinky finger to see if needed watered. 

"Well, Lex, I'm not sure how Jonathan will feel about that…you just saw Clark yesterday, you know." Martha watered some marigolds in a large terra cotta pot. Lex pursed his lips a little and looked down at the ground. 

Martha thought about what Lex had said, how he had admited a semblance of vulnerability and this, she realized, shouldn't go unrecognized. She looked up kindly and said, "I'm sorry you've had a bad day, hon. You are right to have come here. Yes, you can stay for dinner." 

She walked over and threw her arm around Lex's neck. Lex froze and then patted her back uncomfortably. She pulled back smiling, "However, you are awfully early, it is only 4 o'clock." 

  
Lex looked at his watch, gritted his teeth a little. "Oh." 

"Clark is finishing up his chores and then I was going to send him into town to the Wal-Mart to run some errands." Martha continued.

"Lex!" Clark's voice shouted and there was no disguising the joy behind it. He was jogging carefully across the yard, the characteristic smile spread across his face. Martha watched him fight the urge to go into super-speed in his eagerness to reach Lex. She shook her head at herself. Seeing her son so happy…she just wished she could more easily trust the person that Clark had invested all that happiness in.

Lex turned at his lover's voice, "Clark!" he responded eagerly. Martha noted the way Lex's voice changed when he uttered her son's name. It deepened, softened and seemed to vibrate with true tenderness. 

Clark halted in front of Lex and looked over at his mother briefly before following through with his impulse to embrace his boyfriend. "What are you doing here? It's Monday!" Clark asked. Lex watched as Clark ran his eyes up and down Lex's body obviously checking for signs of injury or illness. 

"I'm fine, Clark." Lex chuckled, "I know it is Monday, I just had a bad day. That's all. Had a rough call with my father." Lex shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest embarrassed at his admission of the problem being his father in front of Martha.

"Ah, Lex, I'm sorry," Clark wrapped his arms around him again, "He is such a jerk to you sometimes…all the time. I'm glad you came here." Clark was really glad to see him and despite the potential problem with his Dad, he was thrilled. He knew that Lex coming here when he was having a bad day was the same thing as Lex admitting that he needed Clark. Maybe even that he loved Clark, something Lex hadn't said yet. Not only that, but it was really a better alternative to Lex's usual method of dealing with bad days, excessive drinking of expensive Scotch. 

"Clark, I told Lex he could stay for dinner…but you still have to go to Wal-Mart for me. Lex can either go to Wal-Mart with you or he can come back closer to dinner time." Martha interupted hoping that Clark would release Lex from the bear hug he had him in before Jonathan came around from the barn. 

Clark did release Lex. "Okay, Mom." His eyes were shining, " Um, Lex, you wanna go to Wal-Mart?" 

Lex shrugged and nodded, "Sure. I've never been to Wal-Mart. Sounds interesting." 

Clark laughed, "You've _never_ been to _Wal-Mart_?"

Lex didn't seem to understand why Clark was so surprised, "No, I have never been to Wal-Mart. Why is that funny?" 

Clark looked at his mom in amazement, "Mom, did you just hear that? Lex has never been to Wal-Mart!" 

Martha smiled at her son, nodded her head and responded, "I'm sure there are a lot of things Lex has never done." 

  
Clark guffawed, "I doubt that. He's pretty much done it all." And then he blushed because he realized just how suggestive his voice had sounded. 

Martha looked uncomfortable momentarily before Lex cut in, "Actually, Clark, there are a lot of things I've never done that you can introduce me to. Like Wal-Mart or like feeding cows…I've never done that…sounds like it could be fun." 

Clark shook his head, "Feeding the cows is _not_ fun, but you can help sometime." 

  
"I'd rather he didn't" Jonathan's voice came clearly from behind them. Martha blushed at her husband's rudeness. "I think Lex has had enough to do with Kent cows…" 

  
Lex bowed his head briefly before saying, "Mr. Kent, I've told you before that I have no idea how those chemicals were dumped on your property…I don't know how I can do more to try to make it right." 

  
"It can't be made right, Lex. And you are never helping to feed our cows." Jonathan pushed past them into the house.

  
Clark frowned furiously and started after his father. Martha stopped him by placing her hand on his chest, "Stop, Clark. Go to Wal-Mart. Have fun showing it to Lex. I'll handle your father and he'll be civil to Lex over dinner. Okay?" 

Clark frowned responding, "Okay, but he'd better be nice." 

  
"It's okay, Clark. Let's go to Wal-Mart." Lex interjected.

Clark, still looking after his father unhappily, reached his hand toward his mom who handed him the keys to the truck, a credit card and a two page grocery list. "I know I don't have to say this. But Clark, make sure Lex doesn't pay." She whispered to him as she gave him a hug.

  
Clark pulled out her arms and turned toward the Kent family truck.

  
"We're going in the truck?" Lex asked.

  
"Um, yeah, how the heck do you think we'd fit two weeks worth of groceries and household supplies in your Porsche?" Clark's frown broke and he grinned at Lex, shaking his head like the older man was crazy.

-------------------------------------------------- 

Lex sat on the passenger side of the truck breathing in the sweaty scent steaming up from the hot seats. He'd never been in an old truck like this. He wasn't about to say that to Clark, afraid that it would sound insulting. But he was really intrigued by the sensory experience. The rough shocks, the smell of the seats, the dirt and dried mud on the floor. 

Clark turned to him, "Fasten your seat belt, Lex."

  
"Okay," Lex obediently strapped himself in, he knew better than to argue with Clark about vehicular safety.

"So tell me about what happened with your Dad," Clark asked gently as he maneuvered the truck out onto the road. 

"Don't really want to go into the details." Lex murmured. 

"Okay, well, what _do_ you want to talk about."   
  
Lex sighed, reached over and put his hand on Clark's thigh, "I don't want to talk at all. I want to sit here in silence with you. I want to look out the window and think about this magical place we're going called Wal-Mart." 

Clark grinned over at Lex, "Okay…but don't get too excited. It isn't Disneyland or anything."

"Now, Disneyland I've been to." Lex replied earnestly.

  
Clark cracked up, "I haven't." 

  
Lex smiled, "I'll take you sometime. It's pretty fun."

"Tell me about Disneyland." Clark loved to hear Lex's purring voice.

  
"Nah. Later. Let's just enjoy the ride."

Clark nodded, taking one hand off the steering wheel long enough to caress Lex's hand still on his thigh, "Okay." 

-------------------------- 

Lex disengaged his hand from Clark's leg as they pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot. 

  
"Wow, there are a lot of cars here." 

  
"Yeah, Lex, the Wal-Mart is always busy. _Everyone_ goes to Wal-Mart, that's why I was surprised you've never been. But I guess since you have eveything _delivered_ to you…" Clark tenderly teased.

Lex was unfastening his seatbelt and watching the people walk out of the Wal-Mart. "Why is everyone so fat?" he asked earnestly.

  
Clark looked at him in bewilderment, "How should I know why they are fat? I don't go home with them and monitor their diets." 

Clark was thoughtful for a moment as they approached the store, "But…and I've never even told my mom this, but sometimes when I'm shopping, I will look at what people have in their carts and if they are fat, I make sure I don't buy what they have." 

  
Lex looked at him in amusement, "Really?"

"Yeah. We'll test it out today…just to show you. I mean it isn't fail safe or anything, but we'll see how it works out today." 

Lex nodded looking rather intrigued, "Okay, cool."

As they entered the store Clark moved ahead of Lex to pick out a shopping cart. Clark checked a few carts to make sure that he had one that rolled smoothly. He didn't want Lex's first Wal-Mart experience to be effected by a cart that pulled one way or the other or that rattled. When he had chosen one he turned to find that Lex was lingering over by the little toy dispensers at the entrance of the store. Clark rolled the cart over to him.

  
"So you put in a quarter and this machine will spit out a random toy, right?" Lex looked at the dispenser carefully.

Clark nodded, "Yeah…but it's all junk."  


Lex pointed at a plastic ring that had Darth Vader head molded in plastic as it's center, "That's pretty cool, huh?" 

  
Clark chuckled, "Lex, it's all junk."

  
"Do you have a quarter, Clark? I'll pay you back."

"Lex, it's a waste because you never get the toy you want and it's just a bunch of junk."

  
Lex looked up into Clark's eyes, "Do you have a quarter, Clark?" he whispered again.

Clark looked into his eyes and started searching his pockets, "Umm, I've got two, here." He handed them over to Lex.

Lex smiled, "Thanks. Okay, so I stick the quarter in this slot, right?" Lex put the quarter in the slot and twisted the handle. 

"Now you lift that little door and the toy is in there."

Lex's hand paused at the door, "You think I got the cool Darth Vader ring?" 

Clark shook his head, "I doubt it Lex, I never ever got what I wanted."

Lex opened the door. The plastic bubble contained two temporary tattoos one of a snake and one of a bird.

Clark said, "Those are pretty cool."

  
Lex was frowning, "What do you do with these?" 

"They are temporary tatoos, you put them on with water and then they wash off later." 

  
"Oh, I saw some of these in college but they were really big and elaborate and you had to pay to have them put on." Lex leaned over and whispered, "Will you put these on me next Friday night?"

Clark nodded, "Yeah, in some very naughty places," he whispered back. 

  
Lex smiled smugly. "Okay, I've got one more quarter." He slid it into the slot and twisted the handle.

This time the plastic bubble contained a plastic bracelet that had a rosebud in the center of it. Lex tried to put it on his wrist but it was too small. "I really wanted that damn Darth Vader ring." He muttered.

"C'mon, Lex. I've got a lot of stuff to get."

Lex took a long look at the Darth Vader ring and followed Clark into the store. 

-----------------------

"I'm all out of love

I'm so lost without you

It can't be too late 

To say that I was so wrong!"*

The song played over the Wal-Mart sound system and Lex Luthor sang the chorus lightly under his breath as he trailed along beside the shopping cart. "God, how do I even know the words?" he muttered, watching Clark place toilet paper on the rack under the shopping cart. 

"The mass music sinks into the subconscious via commercials and various hypnotic sound systems like the one here." Clark replied. 

  
Lex looked at him, "Sounds like you've given that some thought."

  
"Yeah, every trip to the Wal-Mart reminds me how much the popular culture has sunk into me. I mean, I never make it out of here without some terrible pop song stuck in my head. Last time it was "Time In A Bottle" by whoever sang that." Clark looked at his list. "Shampoo." He stated and guided them over several aisles.

Lex noticed that they were walking right past the condoms. He stopped and studied them briefly. "Should I get some of these?" he asked.

Clark, looking at the shampoos, trying to find one on sale, blushed violently when he saw Lex examining the condoms. 

  
Lex held up a package, "Ribbed for extra pleasure." He smirked.

  
"Lex! Put those back!" Clark hissed, looking around to see if anyone was around. 

Lex put the condoms down. "I was just fucking with you, Clark." 

"Yeah, well, if you do that again, you _won't_ be fucking with me, if you know what I mean." Clark whispered, beet red and turning redder. 

Lex chuckling followed Clark over to the shampoos and watched as Clark finally settled on a brand that was buy one get two free. Lex had never realized before this shopping expedition just how frugal the Kents had to be. Clark pointed at another brand and said, "This is the brand I like best. It smells good. See?" Pulling one off the shelf, taking the lid off and putting it under Lex's nose. 

  
"Yeah, it does smell good. You must've been using this last month." Lex replied. 

  
Clark nodded as he replaced the bottle, "Yeah, it was on sale last month." 

Clark turned back to his shopping list, "Okay, now it is time for the groceries which are on the other side of the store." 

  
"This is one huge ass store." Lex looked around wonderingly. "It's got everything. Hardware, dishes, clothes, groceries, toys…"

  
"Yeah."

"Do you buy your clothes here?" Lex asked as they passed the clothing section.

  
Clark blushed a little, "Um, yeah sometimes. If they are on sale." He bit his lower lip in embarrassment. "When I went through my last growth spurt I almost put my parents in bankruptcy over my clothes. They had to buy new stuff for me about once a month for a year. It was tough." 

  
"Why are you embarrassed?" Lex asked gently.

"Because, I know you buy really nice stuff. I know this stuff is really cheap. I don't know…I mean I guess I shouldn't be. My parents do the best they can." 

"Clark, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"I know, let's just get over to the food, okay?"

Lex trailed behind him for a moment to let Clark regain his composure. He really hadn't intended to embarrass the kid. He wondered if it was bad that he had become so relaxed with Clark that he didn't really consider the implications of things before he asked questions.

Clark looked behind him, "Come on, Lex, keep up." 

As they walked toward the bustling grocery section of the Wal-Mart they began to attract attention. Lex distinctly heard one woman gasp to her husband, "Is that _Lex_ _Luthor_ here in _Wal-Mart_?" He ignored them and followed Clark to the frozen foods section.

Clark once again scanned the aisle for sales trying to match his mom's shopping list with the best buys. 

  
"Clark, darling!" A voice cooed. Clark looked up to see Marcela Woods, his 6th grade math teacher and her daughter, LouEllen, returned from college.   
  
"Hi, Mrs. Woods." Clark smiled politely. 

"How is your mother, dear?" Mrs. Woods drawled. 

"She's fine." Mrs. Woods looked pointedly at Lex, "Um, Mrs. Woods, this is my friend Lex Luthor. Lex, this is my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Woods."   
  
Clark looked at Lex and saw that the public mask had dropped over his features. "Mrs. Woods, it is delightful to make your acquaintance." 

  
Mrs. Woods pulled LouEllen to her side, "This is my daughter, LouEllen, Mr. Luthor. She's just returned from Metropolis U for the summer break. She will be in the Smallville area all summer long." LouEllen was blushing terribly and seemed humiliated that her mother was rather obviously trying to attract Lex's attention to her daughter.

  
Lex shook LouEllen's hand and commented, "I'm sure that you will enjoy your break." LouEllen mumbled something incoherent in response.

  
Clark's mouth was twitching as he found himself remembering the activities he and Lex had engaged in just the day before…activities that would make Lex a very poor match for LouEllen Woods despite his mega-bucks. 

Clark rapidly wrapped up the conversation by telling them that he and Lex were in a hurry to finish up this errand for Martha. Mrs. Woods walked away looking over her shoulder at Lex. Clark's super-hearing picked up her whispering, "Very good, darling, I think you made an impression." 

Clark barely stifled a giggle when he looked to see Lex paying more attention to the package of fish sticks Clark had added to the cart than he had paid to LouEllen or her mother.

Clark pulled a few things out of another freezer, rushed down the remaining aisles and checked the list one last time. "Okay, that's it, Lex. Let's go." Clark started pushing the cart toward the check out. Lex followed him hands in pockets. 

As they stood in line Lex ran his eyes over the headlines of The Globe, The Enquirer and the other tabloids. "Oh, look, Clark. I'm on the cover of this one." Lex murmured indicating The Globe. "Lex Luthor Devising Means to Clone Self." He read aloud, "Hmm. That's a good idea." He smirked. 

Clark was busy with the girl checking out his groceries. "Hey Melissa, did you do okay on that geometry test you were worried about?" Lex listened absently to their chatter as she bagged the groceries and Clark paid. Lex noticed that Clark slightly cringed when the total was announced but pulled out the credit card and paid anyway. Melissa had noticed Lex but was trying to act cool about his presence. 

When it was all wrapped up, Lex pulled out his own wallet and found his smallest bill. A $50. "Can I get this in quarters?" Lex asked. Melissa nodded, "Let me call my manager." 

While they waited, Clark smirked at Lex in silence. Finally a manager arrived with $50 in quarters in a bag for Lex. "Thank you, ah, Mr. Guthrie" Lex smiled looking at the manager's nametag. "Oh, and I'll need another bag too, please." 

"Paper or Plastic?" Melissa asked.

"Plastic please" Lex replied.

Clark wheeled the cart full of bagged groceries behind Lex as he walked purposely to the exit of the store. He approached the toy dispenser and proceeded to put one quarter after another into the machine until the elusive Darth Vader ring finally popped out. Clark looked in wonder as Lex smiled almost gleefully. "Look, I got it!" 

Clark chuckled, "Yeah, 'cause you put like $20 worth of quarters in the thing!" 

-------------------------------------- 

Lex sat at the Kent kitchen table with his bag of cheap toys fondling his Darth Vader ring. 

"Well, what did you think of Wal-Mart, Lex?" Martha asked as Clark came into the kitchen freshly showered and clean.

Lex looked up at her with a rare open smile, "I loved it Mrs. Kent. It was really fun."

Clark and his mom exchanged glances and Clark leaned over and gently kissed Lex's scalp.

~The End~


End file.
